“Mally, no!!!” Danielle and Roseanne shouted out in unison.
Mark could only cover his face with his right hand and shake his head slowly.
“Oh, will you look a time1” George exclaimed. He indicated the nonexistent watch on his wrist. “Didn't realize how late it was. We should get going, guys.”
Jenna regarded him with mild amusement. “You know what?” she replied with a slight smile at the corner of her darkened lips. “I think you are right.”
And with that, they all made a hasty retreat.
“Oh, Georgie, I don't think Mally knows how this game is played at all,” Roseanne commented.
“Graaahhh!” Mallet Girl growled as she charged towards the hapless Star Trek Nerd, her mallet held in both hands and poised to strike.
Everyone in the studio, from the host to the audience to the guy waving and pointing to the audience prompter screen, was just too stunned to do anything but watch in silence, aghast and filled with the morbid fascination that invariably infected people in the street who were about to witness a car accident. Time itself seemed to slow down as Mallet Girl barreled down upon her prey. She fell upon the Star Trek Nerd like a crazed carpenter, hitting him again and again, pummeling him senseless with her mallet. And all the while, the happy, snappy tune of the game show's theme music continued to play in the background.
A scream pierced the air. It was one of Geraldo's assistants, the one in the sexy Nicki-Nicki the Cultured Feline Girl costume. Her shrill, horrified voice was more than enough to set loose the brakes that been clamped upon the gears of time and the whole studio erupted into chaos. Panicking like a herd of cattle spooked by a sudden loud bang, the studio audience bolted and scrambled toward the exit signs, their screams and shouts mingling with those of the poor, terrified Nerds who had scattered in all directions trying to get as far away as possible from the crazy, violent girl and her mallet.
Her mallet. Oh, how wicked it looked to their fear-addled minds!
But there was nowhere to go. All the front and side exits were blocked, jam-packed with people trying to get out. All the windows were barred and shut. And it seemed that all the TV crew and stage hands had beat them to the rear exits at the back of the stage and, in their haste and terror, had blocked and barricaded the doors with crates and dumpsters and whatever else they could get their hands on; it never occurred to them, it seemed, that Mallet Girl was only interested in one thing. Beating the Nerds. It was name of the show after all.
Oh, yes. The poor Nerds were trapped.
Mallet Girl laughed out maniacally to the point of cackling, filled as she was with glee and overwhelming exultation. Now this was a game show she could truly sink her teeth into! Not like those other boring game shows. She stood triumphantly over the unconscious form of the Star Trek Nerd. Having made quick work of him, she was ready for more; she was far from done and satisfied for pummeling down the Star Trek Nerd to submission had only served to whet her considerable appetite for violence and destruction. She was just getting started after all and there were still nineteen of them left.
She caught sight of the Nerd nearest her, the Kawaii Nerd, a bespectacled girl with long pigtails who had tripped and fallen. The Sentai Nerd, a young boy no more than twelve years of age, was helping her up.
Mallet Girl grinned excitedly. Hah! Two for the price of one!
“You two!” she called out to them, brandishing her closed, right fist. “I challenge you!”
The Kawaii Nerd had barely stopped screaming when Geraldo stepped forwardd, waving his arms trying to get everyone's attention. “P-p-people, please,” he stammered out. “Everyone, please calm down!”
Fervently, he tried to think of what else to say or do to get the show back on track. He had to do something and he better do it quick. Never mind that he had nothing to do with Mallet Girl's violent and inexplicable outburst but the higher ups were bound to come down hard on him for this. They'd blame him for sure and he could kiss the career he had worked so hard to build goodbye.
But his pleas for order and sanity were cut short even before he could get started when the Sentai Nerd crashed into him, having been sent flying into the air by a well-executed roundhouse kick. And so the game show host and Nerd alike collapsed to the floor into one big heap.
Mallet girl let out a terrible roar, arms outstretched, fists at the ready. Seventeen to go. Seventeen more moles to whack. Oh, this was so much fun! What joy! Whoever will she challenge next? That, in itself, was just as fun as beating the crap out these guys.
But they were making it far too easy for her. They weren't even putting up much of a fight. They were just running around like headless cockroaches. Why, even her opponents were nigh hopeless. There were nowhere to be seen! She was going to win this thing for sure, hands down and without even breaking a sweat.
Oh, without a doubt that would be most grand indeed. But she had never the kind of gal to take the easy route. What kind of game show was this anyways? While she hadn't seen a single episode of the show, she was sure it was going to be much more challenging than this. Unless...
Unless it was all part of the game somehow? Oh, sure, these guys were weak as heck but maybe...just maybe...it was a time challenge? Yes! That had got to be it! Her opponents, the other two contestants, that Cutie Sammy geezer and that what's-her-name girl, were probably in some backroom or something awaiting their turns. Yeah. And the contestant with the shortest time will be declared the winner.
That was most probably it!
“Oh, yeah!” she exclaimed. “If that's the way the game's played, well then, get ready, boys, cuz here I come! I'll do you all in record time!”
Mallet Girl paused. “Wait. That didn't come out right.”
But she quickly dismissed the thought and shook her head. “Aw, who the heck cares? It's mallet time!”
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