“Get ready to move,” he continued. “We're going in!”
The security guards on the scene glanced at each other, unsure of what to do or say.
“Well? Don't just stand there like idiots! Get a move on!”
“Sir,” one of the guards eventually said. “Don't you think we should wait for the police?”
“Forget the police,” another guard mumbled to the one next to him, “we'd be better off calling in the army.”
The security head could not believe his ears. “Are you deaf, man? They are dying in there! We don't have time to wait! It's high time you really earned your paychecks, boys.”
“But, sir, it's Mallet Girl.”
“M-M-Mallet Girl!?” The man nearly fainted at the mention of her name. He had dealt with her before, back when he was still the president and owner of his own corporation. That had been a pure and unadulterated disaster and it was only because of his father-in-law's connections that he managed to get appointed to the prestigious position of head of security of all of Studiotown.
“Mallet Girl, you say? Aherm-herm! Uh, yes, of course. Quite right, we should wait for the cops to show up and let them handle this mess. Quite right. Good call there, Johnson. Carry on, men. Carry on!”
And with that, the poor man retreated to the relative safety of his car. He legs couldn't carry him fast enough. He wasted no time in driving back to his house. With that mallet-wielding calamity on steroids around, he was not about to take any chances. He quickly packed his clothes and hurried off to the airport. He can only hope that it wasn't too late already and that he can get enough distance between him and Studiotown before the proverbial shit hit the ceiling fan. Such was the state of mind he was in that he completely forgot all about his wife and children.
Meanwhile back inside Building 85, Mallet Girl was just about done. She had long since lost track of the time but it no longer mattered. She was just having too much fun. Why, she hadn't enjoyed herself this much since kindergarten. Yep, that day a couple of weeks ago sure was a hoot! Too bad Aunt Mitzy swore she'll never let little Mel take her to school for Show & Tell ever again.
Only two of the Nerds were still standing, still conscious and relatively unhurt, that is. Mallet Girl had chased them back to the stage and had cornered one of them by the five-tiered dais. She was just about to give the poor, cringing, gibbering fellow one more whack with a heavy rubber mallet when her eyes alit upon the words written on the Nerd's sash.
She paused.
“Hentai Nerd?” she murmured to herself. “Hentai Nerd...Hentai...” She pursed her lips in deep thought even as she tapped her chin with the mallet absentmindedly. “Hhhmmm...hentai...? Now where have I heard that word before? Wait...”
Her eyes widened as the realization slowly sunk through her thick skull and into her mallet-obsessed brain. She stared at her mallet and then at the Hentai Nerd and then back at the mallet.
The Hentai Nerd was a short and portly youth, no older than sixteen years of age. Bucktoothed, with small beady eyes hidden behind large, half-inch-thick prescription glasses, his black hair cropped short the shape of a rice bowl.
“Eeewww!” Mallet Girl cried out in utter disgust and dismay, letting go of her once precious rubber mallet as though it had been tainted with deadly plague. Or worse, cooties. “Gross! I can't believe I touched it with my mallet! Oh, my poor rubber mallet! It was custom-made!”
She pointed at the Hentai Nerd with a trembling finger. “Why you-you...you... Aahhh!” She pulled at her hair in frustration. “No fair! I'm not touching that!”
And so the Hentai Nerd looked quite relieved indeed. He had always known this particular hobby of his was going to save his life one day. He wiped the snot dripping from his nose with the back of his hand. “Oh, thank goodnesh!” he lisped.
But the young man's elation was short-lived. He watched in horror as Mallet Girl took hold of the five-tiered dais and proceeded to lift it off the floor. The dais, though made of mere wood and nails, was large and sturdy enough to hold twenty people. It was as heavy as a small car but even then the dais, creaking and groaning, began to rise slowly and with one final heave, she pushed it over her head.
“Hah!” she cried out triumphantly.
“Wait!” the Hentai Nerd shouted desperately. “You shaid you weren't going to toush me!”
“Well, duh!” Mallet Girl replied. “Fists and mallets are too precious to waste on the likes of you. This is more than good enough!”
“Waaaaahhhhh!” the Hentai Nerd screeched in terror, shielding his face with his arms as the wooden structure descended down upon him.
“Die-die-die-die-die!” Mallet Girl went, repeatedly slamming the five-tiered dais down upon the poor, wretched fellow.
“Oh, the pain! The agony!” the Hentai Nerd screamed. “Mashter Happy, make it shtop! Oh, make it shtop!”
Mallet Girl screamed as well. “Aaahhh, die already! Why won't you die!?”
“Aaaiiieeee!”
“Graaaahhhhh!”
Eventually though the poor boy did moving and he made no more sounds.
Mallet Girl was out of breath. That had used up more energy that she would have cared to admit but it was all well worth the effort, she thought. Suffer not the hentai to live as the old saying went. Or at least as she remembered it.
Wednesday, June 24, 2020
Friday, June 19, 2020
PAGE 10 TO PAGE 12
And with that, she drew a wooden mallet from the holster at her back and with a flip of her foot, she flipped up the wooden mallet lying on the floor, sending it spinning into the air. She had let go of that mallet when she dealt with Kawaii Nerd who was just too cute to be struck with a mallet. It simply wasn't done. Yeah. Fists were much better. Deftly, she caught the mallet with her free hand and then let out a wolf howl that could be heard throughout the whole building.
The blood-curdling cry froze the remaining Nerds in their tracks, like hapless animals caught in the headlight beams on a oncoming truck.
A group of them, seven in all, stood huddled in the corner of a backroom. They had barricaded themselves in, barring the double-doors with chairs and crates and all sorts of TV props. They had heard that horrible sound and nearly half of them fainted. Shortly thereafter, the horrific screams of their brethren began.
“Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Noooooooooooo!!!”
“Aaaaiiiigggghhhh-gllrrrggghhhh-kkk-kkk-kkkk!”
“Ack, noooo! Let go of me! Waaaghhh! Ah-hu-hu-hu! It doesn't bend that way! It doesn't bend that way!!!”
“Monster! She's a friggin' monster!”
“S-stay away, you! I-I have a slide rule and I'm nod afraid to use it! Don't come any closer! I'm serious! Aaiiieee, nooooo! She's taken away my slide rule and now she's sticking it up my--”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
And then there was silence. Silence so deafening that the suspense was just too much to bear for the frazzled nerves of the poor, hapless Nerds that a couple of them fell to their knees, clutching at their ears.
“Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-oh-god!” one of them went. It was the Silent Movies Nerd. “We're all going to die! I just know it! She's gonna kill us all!”
The others tried to quiet him down.
“No, no, hush up, man!” the Math Nerd desperately implored him. “She's going to hear you!”
“We're all going to die!” the Silent Movies Nerd continued to scream. “If only the real Mallet Girl was here! She'd save us from this monster!”
“You'll doom us all, you idiot!” the Super Villain Nerd growled under his breath, shaking a trembling fist at the prostrated man; the Silent Movies Nerd was now lying on the floor, flat on his face, his hands clutched together over his head in prayer to God and to Mallet Girl for salvation.
But it was all too late. The room literally shook when the double-doors were suddenly struck with a tremendous force from the outside. It was Mallet Girl.
“I hears you, my little mousies,” she cooed. “Come out, come out! And let's play a smashing game of croquet.”
She rammed the doors with her shoulder. Then she gave them a kick. And then another and another and another. Blow upon blow she delivered upon these wooden doors, each terrific blow rocking the doors that the very hinges themselves threatened to give way at any moment.
But the double-doors held. They seemed to be made of sterner stuff that she had anticipated. Something valuable must have been stored in this room at one time or another, she thought. Mallet Girl grinned. It looked like she was going to have to bring out the big guns after all. She had been slumming it all this while, taking it easy. It was time to get serious. What joy!
She reached back over her shoulder for yet another mallet, one of the bigger ones this time, fashioned from dark, heavy hardwood. She had the mallet half-drawn when she noticed something very interesting. She paused. “Hang on a minute,” she murmured.
“She-she stopped,” the Math Nerd stammered. He laughed nervously. “She can't get in. Ha-ha-ha! She can't get in! We're saved!”
“Oh, thank God!” the Silent Movies Nerd exclaimed.
“Alright!” the Video Games Nerd said as he faced the others. “You hear that, guys? She can't get in. She really can't get in! Ha-ha-ha! Whew! For a moment there, I really thought we were done for.”
“We're saved!” cried the Silent Movies Nerd, tears streaming down his face like a mini waterfalls. He was still lying on the floor. “We're really sa--”
The nervous, hysterical laughter of the Nerds were all cut short by the slow but very audible creaking of the doors swinging open. Wide-eyed with terror but still clinging to the fleeting hope that their ears were deceiving them, the Nerds turned around as one to see Mallet Girl peeking out at them through the half-open double-doors of the backroom. Grinning from ear to ear, there was a hungry look upon her face.
In their panic, in their haste to close the doors and bar them with whatever they could get their hands on, it seemed the Nerds had not only forgotten to lock the double-doors but they plum failed to notice that they opened outward into the corridor instead of inward into the room.
Mallet Girl licked her lips greedily. “I see you!” she whispered out lout and ever so slowly.
The desperate cries and screams of the Nerds could be heard from miles away.
Outside Building 85, a very large crowd had gathered. People from the game show's audience and studio staff. People from the other buildings. The Studiotown security had cordoned off the area and closed down the whole lot itself.
“My God!” one of the security guards exclaimed. “They're getting killed in there!”
“Alright, men! Listen up!” the head of security bellowed. He slammed the door of his car shut. He had just arrived it seemed and was in quite the dark mood for it. He had just been apprised of the situation. The one time this month he had decided to come in late and this happened. Clearly he needed to get a handle on this situation personally and quickly, else he'll never hear the end of it back at the club.
The blood-curdling cry froze the remaining Nerds in their tracks, like hapless animals caught in the headlight beams on a oncoming truck.
A group of them, seven in all, stood huddled in the corner of a backroom. They had barricaded themselves in, barring the double-doors with chairs and crates and all sorts of TV props. They had heard that horrible sound and nearly half of them fainted. Shortly thereafter, the horrific screams of their brethren began.
“Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Noooooooooooo!!!”
“Aaaaiiiigggghhhh-gllrrrggghhhh-kkk-kkk-kkkk!”
“Ack, noooo! Let go of me! Waaaghhh! Ah-hu-hu-hu! It doesn't bend that way! It doesn't bend that way!!!”
“Monster! She's a friggin' monster!”
“S-stay away, you! I-I have a slide rule and I'm nod afraid to use it! Don't come any closer! I'm serious! Aaiiieee, nooooo! She's taken away my slide rule and now she's sticking it up my--”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
And then there was silence. Silence so deafening that the suspense was just too much to bear for the frazzled nerves of the poor, hapless Nerds that a couple of them fell to their knees, clutching at their ears.
“Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-oh-god!” one of them went. It was the Silent Movies Nerd. “We're all going to die! I just know it! She's gonna kill us all!”
The others tried to quiet him down.
“No, no, hush up, man!” the Math Nerd desperately implored him. “She's going to hear you!”
“We're all going to die!” the Silent Movies Nerd continued to scream. “If only the real Mallet Girl was here! She'd save us from this monster!”
“You'll doom us all, you idiot!” the Super Villain Nerd growled under his breath, shaking a trembling fist at the prostrated man; the Silent Movies Nerd was now lying on the floor, flat on his face, his hands clutched together over his head in prayer to God and to Mallet Girl for salvation.
But it was all too late. The room literally shook when the double-doors were suddenly struck with a tremendous force from the outside. It was Mallet Girl.
“I hears you, my little mousies,” she cooed. “Come out, come out! And let's play a smashing game of croquet.”
She rammed the doors with her shoulder. Then she gave them a kick. And then another and another and another. Blow upon blow she delivered upon these wooden doors, each terrific blow rocking the doors that the very hinges themselves threatened to give way at any moment.
But the double-doors held. They seemed to be made of sterner stuff that she had anticipated. Something valuable must have been stored in this room at one time or another, she thought. Mallet Girl grinned. It looked like she was going to have to bring out the big guns after all. She had been slumming it all this while, taking it easy. It was time to get serious. What joy!
She reached back over her shoulder for yet another mallet, one of the bigger ones this time, fashioned from dark, heavy hardwood. She had the mallet half-drawn when she noticed something very interesting. She paused. “Hang on a minute,” she murmured.
“She-she stopped,” the Math Nerd stammered. He laughed nervously. “She can't get in. Ha-ha-ha! She can't get in! We're saved!”
“Oh, thank God!” the Silent Movies Nerd exclaimed.
“Alright!” the Video Games Nerd said as he faced the others. “You hear that, guys? She can't get in. She really can't get in! Ha-ha-ha! Whew! For a moment there, I really thought we were done for.”
“We're saved!” cried the Silent Movies Nerd, tears streaming down his face like a mini waterfalls. He was still lying on the floor. “We're really sa--”
The nervous, hysterical laughter of the Nerds were all cut short by the slow but very audible creaking of the doors swinging open. Wide-eyed with terror but still clinging to the fleeting hope that their ears were deceiving them, the Nerds turned around as one to see Mallet Girl peeking out at them through the half-open double-doors of the backroom. Grinning from ear to ear, there was a hungry look upon her face.
In their panic, in their haste to close the doors and bar them with whatever they could get their hands on, it seemed the Nerds had not only forgotten to lock the double-doors but they plum failed to notice that they opened outward into the corridor instead of inward into the room.
Mallet Girl licked her lips greedily. “I see you!” she whispered out lout and ever so slowly.
The desperate cries and screams of the Nerds could be heard from miles away.
Outside Building 85, a very large crowd had gathered. People from the game show's audience and studio staff. People from the other buildings. The Studiotown security had cordoned off the area and closed down the whole lot itself.
“My God!” one of the security guards exclaimed. “They're getting killed in there!”
“Alright, men! Listen up!” the head of security bellowed. He slammed the door of his car shut. He had just arrived it seemed and was in quite the dark mood for it. He had just been apprised of the situation. The one time this month he had decided to come in late and this happened. Clearly he needed to get a handle on this situation personally and quickly, else he'll never hear the end of it back at the club.
Friday, June 12, 2020
PAGE 7 TO PAGE 9
“Mally, no!!!” Danielle and Roseanne shouted out in unison.
Mark could only cover his face with his right hand and shake his head slowly.
“Oh, will you look a time1” George exclaimed. He indicated the nonexistent watch on his wrist. “Didn't realize how late it was. We should get going, guys.”
Jenna regarded him with mild amusement. “You know what?” she replied with a slight smile at the corner of her darkened lips. “I think you are right.”
And with that, they all made a hasty retreat.
“Oh, Georgie, I don't think Mally knows how this game is played at all,” Roseanne commented.
“Graaahhh!” Mallet Girl growled as she charged towards the hapless Star Trek Nerd, her mallet held in both hands and poised to strike.
Everyone in the studio, from the host to the audience to the guy waving and pointing to the audience prompter screen, was just too stunned to do anything but watch in silence, aghast and filled with the morbid fascination that invariably infected people in the street who were about to witness a car accident. Time itself seemed to slow down as Mallet Girl barreled down upon her prey. She fell upon the Star Trek Nerd like a crazed carpenter, hitting him again and again, pummeling him senseless with her mallet. And all the while, the happy, snappy tune of the game show's theme music continued to play in the background.
A scream pierced the air. It was one of Geraldo's assistants, the one in the sexy Nicki-Nicki the Cultured Feline Girl costume. Her shrill, horrified voice was more than enough to set loose the brakes that been clamped upon the gears of time and the whole studio erupted into chaos. Panicking like a herd of cattle spooked by a sudden loud bang, the studio audience bolted and scrambled toward the exit signs, their screams and shouts mingling with those of the poor, terrified Nerds who had scattered in all directions trying to get as far away as possible from the crazy, violent girl and her mallet.
Her mallet. Oh, how wicked it looked to their fear-addled minds!
But there was nowhere to go. All the front and side exits were blocked, jam-packed with people trying to get out. All the windows were barred and shut. And it seemed that all the TV crew and stage hands had beat them to the rear exits at the back of the stage and, in their haste and terror, had blocked and barricaded the doors with crates and dumpsters and whatever else they could get their hands on; it never occurred to them, it seemed, that Mallet Girl was only interested in one thing. Beating the Nerds. It was name of the show after all.
Oh, yes. The poor Nerds were trapped.
Mallet Girl laughed out maniacally to the point of cackling, filled as she was with glee and overwhelming exultation. Now this was a game show she could truly sink her teeth into! Not like those other boring game shows. She stood triumphantly over the unconscious form of the Star Trek Nerd. Having made quick work of him, she was ready for more; she was far from done and satisfied for pummeling down the Star Trek Nerd to submission had only served to whet her considerable appetite for violence and destruction. She was just getting started after all and there were still nineteen of them left.
She caught sight of the Nerd nearest her, the Kawaii Nerd, a bespectacled girl with long pigtails who had tripped and fallen. The Sentai Nerd, a young boy no more than twelve years of age, was helping her up.
Mallet Girl grinned excitedly. Hah! Two for the price of one!
“You two!” she called out to them, brandishing her closed, right fist. “I challenge you!”
The Kawaii Nerd had barely stopped screaming when Geraldo stepped forwardd, waving his arms trying to get everyone's attention. “P-p-people, please,” he stammered out. “Everyone, please calm down!”
Fervently, he tried to think of what else to say or do to get the show back on track. He had to do something and he better do it quick. Never mind that he had nothing to do with Mallet Girl's violent and inexplicable outburst but the higher ups were bound to come down hard on him for this. They'd blame him for sure and he could kiss the career he had worked so hard to build goodbye.
But his pleas for order and sanity were cut short even before he could get started when the Sentai Nerd crashed into him, having been sent flying into the air by a well-executed roundhouse kick. And so the game show host and Nerd alike collapsed to the floor into one big heap.
Mallet girl let out a terrible roar, arms outstretched, fists at the ready. Seventeen to go. Seventeen more moles to whack. Oh, this was so much fun! What joy! Whoever will she challenge next? That, in itself, was just as fun as beating the crap out these guys.
But they were making it far too easy for her. They weren't even putting up much of a fight. They were just running around like headless cockroaches. Why, even her opponents were nigh hopeless. There were nowhere to be seen! She was going to win this thing for sure, hands down and without even breaking a sweat.
Oh, without a doubt that would be most grand indeed. But she had never the kind of gal to take the easy route. What kind of game show was this anyways? While she hadn't seen a single episode of the show, she was sure it was going to be much more challenging than this. Unless...
Unless it was all part of the game somehow? Oh, sure, these guys were weak as heck but maybe...just maybe...it was a time challenge? Yes! That had got to be it! Her opponents, the other two contestants, that Cutie Sammy geezer and that what's-her-name girl, were probably in some backroom or something awaiting their turns. Yeah. And the contestant with the shortest time will be declared the winner.
That was most probably it!
“Oh, yeah!” she exclaimed. “If that's the way the game's played, well then, get ready, boys, cuz here I come! I'll do you all in record time!”
Mallet Girl paused. “Wait. That didn't come out right.”
But she quickly dismissed the thought and shook her head. “Aw, who the heck cares? It's mallet time!”
Mark could only cover his face with his right hand and shake his head slowly.
“Oh, will you look a time1” George exclaimed. He indicated the nonexistent watch on his wrist. “Didn't realize how late it was. We should get going, guys.”
Jenna regarded him with mild amusement. “You know what?” she replied with a slight smile at the corner of her darkened lips. “I think you are right.”
And with that, they all made a hasty retreat.
“Oh, Georgie, I don't think Mally knows how this game is played at all,” Roseanne commented.
“Graaahhh!” Mallet Girl growled as she charged towards the hapless Star Trek Nerd, her mallet held in both hands and poised to strike.
Everyone in the studio, from the host to the audience to the guy waving and pointing to the audience prompter screen, was just too stunned to do anything but watch in silence, aghast and filled with the morbid fascination that invariably infected people in the street who were about to witness a car accident. Time itself seemed to slow down as Mallet Girl barreled down upon her prey. She fell upon the Star Trek Nerd like a crazed carpenter, hitting him again and again, pummeling him senseless with her mallet. And all the while, the happy, snappy tune of the game show's theme music continued to play in the background.
A scream pierced the air. It was one of Geraldo's assistants, the one in the sexy Nicki-Nicki the Cultured Feline Girl costume. Her shrill, horrified voice was more than enough to set loose the brakes that been clamped upon the gears of time and the whole studio erupted into chaos. Panicking like a herd of cattle spooked by a sudden loud bang, the studio audience bolted and scrambled toward the exit signs, their screams and shouts mingling with those of the poor, terrified Nerds who had scattered in all directions trying to get as far away as possible from the crazy, violent girl and her mallet.
Her mallet. Oh, how wicked it looked to their fear-addled minds!
But there was nowhere to go. All the front and side exits were blocked, jam-packed with people trying to get out. All the windows were barred and shut. And it seemed that all the TV crew and stage hands had beat them to the rear exits at the back of the stage and, in their haste and terror, had blocked and barricaded the doors with crates and dumpsters and whatever else they could get their hands on; it never occurred to them, it seemed, that Mallet Girl was only interested in one thing. Beating the Nerds. It was name of the show after all.
Oh, yes. The poor Nerds were trapped.
Mallet Girl laughed out maniacally to the point of cackling, filled as she was with glee and overwhelming exultation. Now this was a game show she could truly sink her teeth into! Not like those other boring game shows. She stood triumphantly over the unconscious form of the Star Trek Nerd. Having made quick work of him, she was ready for more; she was far from done and satisfied for pummeling down the Star Trek Nerd to submission had only served to whet her considerable appetite for violence and destruction. She was just getting started after all and there were still nineteen of them left.
She caught sight of the Nerd nearest her, the Kawaii Nerd, a bespectacled girl with long pigtails who had tripped and fallen. The Sentai Nerd, a young boy no more than twelve years of age, was helping her up.
Mallet Girl grinned excitedly. Hah! Two for the price of one!
“You two!” she called out to them, brandishing her closed, right fist. “I challenge you!”
The Kawaii Nerd had barely stopped screaming when Geraldo stepped forwardd, waving his arms trying to get everyone's attention. “P-p-people, please,” he stammered out. “Everyone, please calm down!”
Fervently, he tried to think of what else to say or do to get the show back on track. He had to do something and he better do it quick. Never mind that he had nothing to do with Mallet Girl's violent and inexplicable outburst but the higher ups were bound to come down hard on him for this. They'd blame him for sure and he could kiss the career he had worked so hard to build goodbye.
But his pleas for order and sanity were cut short even before he could get started when the Sentai Nerd crashed into him, having been sent flying into the air by a well-executed roundhouse kick. And so the game show host and Nerd alike collapsed to the floor into one big heap.
Mallet girl let out a terrible roar, arms outstretched, fists at the ready. Seventeen to go. Seventeen more moles to whack. Oh, this was so much fun! What joy! Whoever will she challenge next? That, in itself, was just as fun as beating the crap out these guys.
But they were making it far too easy for her. They weren't even putting up much of a fight. They were just running around like headless cockroaches. Why, even her opponents were nigh hopeless. There were nowhere to be seen! She was going to win this thing for sure, hands down and without even breaking a sweat.
Oh, without a doubt that would be most grand indeed. But she had never the kind of gal to take the easy route. What kind of game show was this anyways? While she hadn't seen a single episode of the show, she was sure it was going to be much more challenging than this. Unless...
Unless it was all part of the game somehow? Oh, sure, these guys were weak as heck but maybe...just maybe...it was a time challenge? Yes! That had got to be it! Her opponents, the other two contestants, that Cutie Sammy geezer and that what's-her-name girl, were probably in some backroom or something awaiting their turns. Yeah. And the contestant with the shortest time will be declared the winner.
That was most probably it!
“Oh, yeah!” she exclaimed. “If that's the way the game's played, well then, get ready, boys, cuz here I come! I'll do you all in record time!”
Mallet Girl paused. “Wait. That didn't come out right.”
But she quickly dismissed the thought and shook her head. “Aw, who the heck cares? It's mallet time!”
Friday, June 5, 2020
PAGE 4 TO PAGE 6
She waved to the audience with a great big smile on her face as the game show host called out her name.
Again more cheers and applause.
And then finally, there was Mallet Girl. She had straight black hair, cropped short that it barely reached down to the level of her chin. Her build was small but athletic. She was rather on the short side but no one talked about her lack of height or, for that matter, about her not-so-well-endowed chest. Ever. Not unless they fancied meeting the business end of a mallet.
It being a work day, she had on her usual work clothes. A white, round-necked T-shirt, raggedly cut short at the midriff. A small, unbuttoned denim vest worn over the T-shirt. Black cycling shorts. Light-brown leather gloves. And over-sized, hi-cut rubber shoes, perfect for running, jumping, and stomping the crap out of nosy do-gooders and criminals alike.
And she had mallets. Mallets for just about every occasion. And boy, did she have mallets! Small ones. Big ones. Wooden ones. Metal ones. Even plastic ones. The bigger and longer mallets hung from her back in a custom-made leather holster while the smaller, lighter ones hung from her slender waist courtesy of a heavy-duty utility belt.
She let out a battle cry as her name was called out, much to the delight of the studio audience.
“Oh, wow!” Alicia exclaimed, clapping her hands. “I simply adore your costume. You look exactly like her! Oh, you must introduce me to your seamstress and designer. You simply must. Although, I must say, I thought the real Mallet Girl was taller. You should've worn shoe sole inserts.”
She was lucky. She would have gotten a fractured forehead for her trouble, a concussion at the very least, had Mallet Girl been listening. As it was, she wasn't even aware that someone was talking to her. She was just too excited.
“Yeah! You can do this, Mallet Girl!” she encouraged herself. “You can do this! You weren't afraid of the Bagel Don or the Sushi Brothers or even the Striped Cereal Killer. And if you can face down the Muffin Mafia and the Curry Thugees and the Chuckwagon Bandits, you can definitely take on these Nerds.”
She pointed at the Nerds standing on the dais. “Oh, yeah!” she cried out. “You guys are going down!”
And the crowd exploded, rocking the studio to its very foundation with their cheers and applause. Mallet Girl was just that popular.
Her friends were worried though. They had come to root for their friend although they already knew that all this was just one big publicity stunt. Still, each one hoped that Mallet Girl will win a cool prize, something they could “borrow” for extended periods of time. Mallet Girl was such a ditz that she most likely won't even notice at all or even forget about it altogether.
There's Jenna and then Mark standing beside her. There were also George, Danielle and Roseanne. Jenna was dressed all in black. As usual. Her long overcoat. Her red-trimmed corset. Her patchwork skirt. Even her heavy-duty combat boots. All black. Even her lipstick was black. And she was wearing too much mascara and eyeliner. Now one could say this raven-haired, pasty-skinned girl was goth or even emo. Indeed one could very well call her that but only if one wanted a fist in the nose, that is. She had never been, not even for a moment of her life, goth or emo or anything like that. She just liked wearing black, is all. That's what she claimed at least.
It was this penchant for violence, in fact, that had made her so close to Mallet Girl back when they were still little kids. Like peas in a pod they were, feisty little fireballs taking on and beating the crap out of the older, bigger delinquents in the neighborhood. She had grown more matured since then, more subdued and less prone to lashing out with her fists. Case in point, it had been weeks now since she last sent someone to the hospital. Yeah, it wasn't much but it was something at least. Better than nothing.
The others were pretty much normal and nondescript. And they were still wearing their work clothes, having gone to the studio straight from their respective offices. They cared not for cosplaying besides. Nope. Not one bit. They came only to support their friend and wish her well and that was it. Well, there was the prospect of Mallet Girl winning something but that was really it and nothing more.
They had been enthusiastic at first. But now they were concerned somewhat for they had all noticed the look on Mallet Girl's face, that glint in her eyes as she slammed her fists together. They had seen that look before and that look never boded well.
“Uh-oh,” George remarked, “I don't know about you guys but I don't like the looks of the that.”
Mark and Danielle echoed his sentiments.
“Oh, no,” went Roseanne, looking at the others, “you don't suppose...she couldn't possibly take all this seriously...she wouldn't, right? Oh, she just wouldn't!”
But the others could not answer. They could only stare back at her with grave looks on their faces.
She let out a nervous giggle. “No, she wouldn't! It's just a game after all. Not even Mally is that stupid.”
Jenna looked most dubious indeed but she didn't say anything to the others. She trained her eyes back to her childhood friend. “Huh, I wonder...” she murmured to herself.
“And now,” the game show host finally declared, “the moment we've all been waiting for! It's time to BEAT! THE! NERDS!”
Suddenly Alicia let out a surprised, terrified screech, stopping everyone in their tracks even as Mallet Girl spurred into action. She had whipped out one of her mallets and in one fell swipe, smashed all three wooden podiums, shattering them like so much clay pottery and sending splinters and dust into the air. She then leapt forward and upon landing, pointed her mallet at one of the Nerds.
“Star Trek Nerd,” she cried out in all seriousness, “I challenge you!”
“Whelp, there she goes,” Jenna said. “Really, I'm surprised she lasted this long.”
Again more cheers and applause.
And then finally, there was Mallet Girl. She had straight black hair, cropped short that it barely reached down to the level of her chin. Her build was small but athletic. She was rather on the short side but no one talked about her lack of height or, for that matter, about her not-so-well-endowed chest. Ever. Not unless they fancied meeting the business end of a mallet.
It being a work day, she had on her usual work clothes. A white, round-necked T-shirt, raggedly cut short at the midriff. A small, unbuttoned denim vest worn over the T-shirt. Black cycling shorts. Light-brown leather gloves. And over-sized, hi-cut rubber shoes, perfect for running, jumping, and stomping the crap out of nosy do-gooders and criminals alike.
And she had mallets. Mallets for just about every occasion. And boy, did she have mallets! Small ones. Big ones. Wooden ones. Metal ones. Even plastic ones. The bigger and longer mallets hung from her back in a custom-made leather holster while the smaller, lighter ones hung from her slender waist courtesy of a heavy-duty utility belt.
She let out a battle cry as her name was called out, much to the delight of the studio audience.
“Oh, wow!” Alicia exclaimed, clapping her hands. “I simply adore your costume. You look exactly like her! Oh, you must introduce me to your seamstress and designer. You simply must. Although, I must say, I thought the real Mallet Girl was taller. You should've worn shoe sole inserts.”
She was lucky. She would have gotten a fractured forehead for her trouble, a concussion at the very least, had Mallet Girl been listening. As it was, she wasn't even aware that someone was talking to her. She was just too excited.
“Yeah! You can do this, Mallet Girl!” she encouraged herself. “You can do this! You weren't afraid of the Bagel Don or the Sushi Brothers or even the Striped Cereal Killer. And if you can face down the Muffin Mafia and the Curry Thugees and the Chuckwagon Bandits, you can definitely take on these Nerds.”
She pointed at the Nerds standing on the dais. “Oh, yeah!” she cried out. “You guys are going down!”
And the crowd exploded, rocking the studio to its very foundation with their cheers and applause. Mallet Girl was just that popular.
Her friends were worried though. They had come to root for their friend although they already knew that all this was just one big publicity stunt. Still, each one hoped that Mallet Girl will win a cool prize, something they could “borrow” for extended periods of time. Mallet Girl was such a ditz that she most likely won't even notice at all or even forget about it altogether.
There's Jenna and then Mark standing beside her. There were also George, Danielle and Roseanne. Jenna was dressed all in black. As usual. Her long overcoat. Her red-trimmed corset. Her patchwork skirt. Even her heavy-duty combat boots. All black. Even her lipstick was black. And she was wearing too much mascara and eyeliner. Now one could say this raven-haired, pasty-skinned girl was goth or even emo. Indeed one could very well call her that but only if one wanted a fist in the nose, that is. She had never been, not even for a moment of her life, goth or emo or anything like that. She just liked wearing black, is all. That's what she claimed at least.
It was this penchant for violence, in fact, that had made her so close to Mallet Girl back when they were still little kids. Like peas in a pod they were, feisty little fireballs taking on and beating the crap out of the older, bigger delinquents in the neighborhood. She had grown more matured since then, more subdued and less prone to lashing out with her fists. Case in point, it had been weeks now since she last sent someone to the hospital. Yeah, it wasn't much but it was something at least. Better than nothing.
The others were pretty much normal and nondescript. And they were still wearing their work clothes, having gone to the studio straight from their respective offices. They cared not for cosplaying besides. Nope. Not one bit. They came only to support their friend and wish her well and that was it. Well, there was the prospect of Mallet Girl winning something but that was really it and nothing more.
They had been enthusiastic at first. But now they were concerned somewhat for they had all noticed the look on Mallet Girl's face, that glint in her eyes as she slammed her fists together. They had seen that look before and that look never boded well.
“Uh-oh,” George remarked, “I don't know about you guys but I don't like the looks of the that.”
Mark and Danielle echoed his sentiments.
“Oh, no,” went Roseanne, looking at the others, “you don't suppose...she couldn't possibly take all this seriously...she wouldn't, right? Oh, she just wouldn't!”
But the others could not answer. They could only stare back at her with grave looks on their faces.
She let out a nervous giggle. “No, she wouldn't! It's just a game after all. Not even Mally is that stupid.”
Jenna looked most dubious indeed but she didn't say anything to the others. She trained her eyes back to her childhood friend. “Huh, I wonder...” she murmured to herself.
“And now,” the game show host finally declared, “the moment we've all been waiting for! It's time to BEAT! THE! NERDS!”
Suddenly Alicia let out a surprised, terrified screech, stopping everyone in their tracks even as Mallet Girl spurred into action. She had whipped out one of her mallets and in one fell swipe, smashed all three wooden podiums, shattering them like so much clay pottery and sending splinters and dust into the air. She then leapt forward and upon landing, pointed her mallet at one of the Nerds.
“Star Trek Nerd,” she cried out in all seriousness, “I challenge you!”
“Whelp, there she goes,” Jenna said. “Really, I'm surprised she lasted this long.”
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