“Oh, yeah!” Mallet Girl nodded. “Those things. You know, I tried one of those new-fangled fight games once. It was a big disappointment. I mean, what a kind of fight game explodes after just one hit? What a gyp! I demanded my money back but the arcade manager threw me out instead.”
“Hey, wait a minute!” she then exclaimed. “How you still have half your lifebar? Those were pretty good hits I gave ya!”
Fried Chicken Wing Guy laughed with glee in response. “Tougher than I looked, aren't I? I'm not the ninth strongest member of Alpha Phi Omegatron Delta Force for nothing. I may not be the strongest physically or the fastest or the most skilled but I pride myself in being the toughest, in my ability to take damage. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“Well how about that!” Mallet Girl said, indicating the lifebar floating over her head. “Mine's still full.”
“Gaaahhh!” Fried Chicken Wing Guy's eyes literally bulged out of their sockets almost to the verge of popping out completely. Such was his shock and utter disbelief at what he was seeing. “H-h-how is that even possible!? It can't be!”
It was then that Mallet Girl noticed Gazpacho of the Andes for the very first time since she and Fried Chicken Wing Guy fell into the room.
“Oh, hello,” she greeted him. “Sorry for dropping in all of the sudden and carrying on like that but this guy just won't quit.”
Still in shock, Gazpacho of the Andes simply stared back at her and said nothing. He looked at her and then at Fried Chicken Wing Guy, and then back at her again.
“I see...” he murmured finally and then more audibly, declared, “I see what you are trying to do, Mallet Girl.” He pointed at Fried Chicken Wing Guy. “And you, too, Alias Uno. I did not realize you such a master of disguise. You two almost had me fooled but this amateur performance of yours is simply too asinine I'd have to be a three-year-old to believe it. I have but one thing to say to that.”
Suddenly, her turned and leapt out of the open window. “I am no three-year-old! Nya-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” he shouted as he scurried down the fire escape.
“What the...!?” Mallet Girl cried.
“You may have foiled my plans this time, Mallet Girl! But victory shall ultimately be mine! I leave now to molest another day! Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
It was then that the door burst open and Alias Uno came running into the room. “Mallet Girl!” he called out to her. “That's him! That's Gazpacho of the Andes!”
“What!?”
“Gazpacho of the Andes!” Alias Uno repeated. “His name's on the mailbox downstairs. I even confirmed it with the manager of the 7-Ate-9 convenience store out front.”
“Who?” Mallet Girl looked at him as though he had gone insane. What the heck was he going on about?
Alias Uno sighed. “That Pistachio guy we were--”
“Dang!” Mallet girl exclaimed. “Why didn't you say so in the first place? Come on! He's getting away!”
She rushed to the window, sheathing her mallet as she went, and hurriedly clambered out of the room.
“Go get him, Mallet Girl!” Alias Uno hollered after her. “I'll keep track of him from the rooftops!”
And with that, he, too, was gone, leaving Fried Chicken Wing guy, the little girl, and the pretty pink pony all wide-eyed and confused, all three of them thinking in unison, “What the heck just happened?”
“TIME'S UP!” the deep, thunderous voice bellowed. “MALLET GIRL WINS!”
“Hey, wait a minute!” she then exclaimed. “How you still have half your lifebar? Those were pretty good hits I gave ya!”
Fried Chicken Wing Guy laughed with glee in response. “Tougher than I looked, aren't I? I'm not the ninth strongest member of Alpha Phi Omegatron Delta Force for nothing. I may not be the strongest physically or the fastest or the most skilled but I pride myself in being the toughest, in my ability to take damage. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“Well how about that!” Mallet Girl said, indicating the lifebar floating over her head. “Mine's still full.”
“Gaaahhh!” Fried Chicken Wing Guy's eyes literally bulged out of their sockets almost to the verge of popping out completely. Such was his shock and utter disbelief at what he was seeing. “H-h-how is that even possible!? It can't be!”
It was then that Mallet Girl noticed Gazpacho of the Andes for the very first time since she and Fried Chicken Wing Guy fell into the room.
“Oh, hello,” she greeted him. “Sorry for dropping in all of the sudden and carrying on like that but this guy just won't quit.”
Still in shock, Gazpacho of the Andes simply stared back at her and said nothing. He looked at her and then at Fried Chicken Wing Guy, and then back at her again.
“I see...” he murmured finally and then more audibly, declared, “I see what you are trying to do, Mallet Girl.” He pointed at Fried Chicken Wing Guy. “And you, too, Alias Uno. I did not realize you such a master of disguise. You two almost had me fooled but this amateur performance of yours is simply too asinine I'd have to be a three-year-old to believe it. I have but one thing to say to that.”
Suddenly, her turned and leapt out of the open window. “I am no three-year-old! Nya-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” he shouted as he scurried down the fire escape.
“What the...!?” Mallet Girl cried.
“You may have foiled my plans this time, Mallet Girl! But victory shall ultimately be mine! I leave now to molest another day! Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
It was then that the door burst open and Alias Uno came running into the room. “Mallet Girl!” he called out to her. “That's him! That's Gazpacho of the Andes!”
“What!?”
“Gazpacho of the Andes!” Alias Uno repeated. “His name's on the mailbox downstairs. I even confirmed it with the manager of the 7-Ate-9 convenience store out front.”
“Who?” Mallet Girl looked at him as though he had gone insane. What the heck was he going on about?
Alias Uno sighed. “That Pistachio guy we were--”
“Dang!” Mallet girl exclaimed. “Why didn't you say so in the first place? Come on! He's getting away!”
She rushed to the window, sheathing her mallet as she went, and hurriedly clambered out of the room.
“Go get him, Mallet Girl!” Alias Uno hollered after her. “I'll keep track of him from the rooftops!”
And with that, he, too, was gone, leaving Fried Chicken Wing guy, the little girl, and the pretty pink pony all wide-eyed and confused, all three of them thinking in unison, “What the heck just happened?”
“TIME'S UP!” the deep, thunderous voice bellowed. “MALLET GIRL WINS!”
INTERLUDE – BUSINESS AS USUAL
A sparsely-furnished room. Just a rectangular office table, a couple of wooden stools in front of the table, an office chair behind the table, and a steel filing cabinet in the corner. There's an old-style rotary phone on the table as well as a small glass ash tray that was filled to the brim with ashes and black cigarette butts. And there's a tall, green ceramic vase holding a daffodils set atop the filing cabinet.
Old, peeling wallpaper with light-brown puppy dog pattern covered the walls and hanging on the wall directly behind the table was an electric sign in bright ret and blue neon lights saying, “QUEEN OF HEARTS Delivery & Bounty Hunter Agency”.
Jenna was seated on the chair, leaning back with her heavily-shod feet resting on the table. She was puffing heavily on one of her black cigarettes, breathing out billows of light-grey smoke and filling the room with the scents of tobacco, chocolate, and cinnamon. It was shaping out to be just another day for the Queen of Hearts Delivery and Bounty Hunter Agency. As usual, the phone had been ringing nonstop all morning. Mostly, they were wrong numbers, calls intended for the restaurant downstairs.
There were several legitimate calls though she highly doubted that Mallet Girl will be all too excited to hear about them when she comes back this afternoon. They were all pick-up and delivery orders after all. They typically left that sort of stuff to Foul Ball McCoy and his trusty sidekick Bull Pen Jane. But the two had recently tied the know and were out of town on their honeymoon. Mallet Girl will just have to grin and bear it. Oh, no doubt she'll pout. She'll whine. She'll complain. She'll even threaten her with grievous bodily har most likely. Jenna knew her friend all too well. But money was money and there were bills to pay.
Jenna wasn't worried. She rarely was when it came to Mallet Girl. She had mastered a long time ago the fine art of dealing with her violet childhood friend. Most of all, she knew Mallet Girl's greatest weakness, her Achilles' Heel so to speak. But it won't have to come to that. Mallet Girl knew her as much as she Mallet Girl after all.
Besides, Jenna was confident Alias Uno will keep Mallet Girl in line. He always did. Well, usually. For the most part at least. Jenna grinned. She can't wait to see the horrified expression of the poor man's face when she tells them what their jobs will entail for the next couple of days.
